Blog 1: The Midlife Man
Ben’s Origin Story
Catalyst:
In my 20s, I lived by society’s definition of what it meant to be a “real man.” I was a bouncer, associated with motorcycle clubs, dealt drugs, used violence and steroids in order to curate my image as a "real" man. My ego was my shield, but behind it, I was searching for something deeper—acceptance and purpose.
Struggle:
I was trapped in a cycle of inauthenticity, pretending to be someone I wasn’t. While I appeared confident and powerful, I was hiding my true self—compassionate, empathetic, and deeply supportive. The societal pressures to be aggressive, dominant, and self-reliant weighed heavily on me.
This way of life brought danger and disconnection. Incidents of violence, threats to my safety, and the looming possibility of jail time forced me to confront the reality: the life I was leading was destroying me.
Turning Point:
The breaking point came when I hit rock bottom after moving interstate. I lost my job, endured a painful breakup, and became isolated. In my desperation, I reached out to a therapist who directed me to a men’s social support group.
That group changed everything. For the first time, I experienced authentic male connection—men who were open, supportive, and able to challenge me with care. It was a community where I could be myself and explore what being a man truly meant.
Outcome:
I began to let go of the societal expectations that had shaped my life. I embraced my authentic self, built deeper friendships, and discovered that I could embody both strength and compassion. This transformation gave me clarity and purpose: to help other men in midlife rediscover themselves, find meaning, and create lives of connection and purpose.
Today, my mission is to guide men to reflect on their identities, step into their true potential, and live authentically. I know the pain of pretending to be someone you’re not—and the freedom that comes from becoming who you truly are.
